God still speaks. Am I Listening?

Listening to God and pain should not be in the same sentence!

A few days ago I was asked to do a blogger’s profile (BAKE Blogger Profile – Alison Kiriinya), and one of the questions for the profile was, “What was your favorite article on your blog?” I thought for a moment, then remembered an article I wrote back in 2018 called 2018 – The Year of Lessons. I wonder why I said it was my favorite article because it is one of the most painful I have ever written.

When I wrote that article, I was going through the acceptance phase that comes along with finding out that a loved one has a disability. The denial phase had passed, thankfully, though it was quite an experience! So here I was, trying to accept that my son had a disability and that I (we) would have to think hard about how to prepare him for the future.

It is now 2 years later.

Autism is still with us. It has not gone away.

And… God still speaks.

The question is, am I listening?

A long-time pastor and mentor says this is when I should be listening the most.

Let me explain my (our) situation. Being out of school worries me. My son was already behind his age mates in school. By the time they go back, he will be the oldest and tallest in his class. Let’s not forget that online lessons for autistic kids just don’t work.

I have sat, thought, and tried to listen. For a while, I downloaded lots of worksheets and books and we went through all of them. Then I got tired. I could not see the value in what we were working on. I was too tired to listen to what God was saying at this point. The worksheets were put on the shelf and forgotten.

Then one day I took out a sheet and gave it to my son to color. What he produced was amazing. Neat, precise, and well thought out. How did he manage that without my help? Who instructed him on what to do?

A few days later I tried to get him to write numbers backwards. The first line was a struggle, then he got the hang of it. Now that task is a breeze for him. How did he figure that out? I only told him what to do once!

On a different day, I decided to get crazy and give him dictation. He aced it! I then got out a book with words ranging from three to eight letters long, and he read 80% of the words correctly. Who taught him that? How did he figure out how to read the long words?

I would also mention that we can now have a conversation of sorts with sentences.

I am so grateful to the Lord for my son’s progress, and I am glad that I listened to that little voice that suggested I try again.

But autism has not gone away.

Is God still speaking? Am I listening?

Something else my mentor said is that sometimes the struggles we go through are both to help us grow and to encourage other people to grow. I agreed with this, yes, but I can tell you that every other day is not easy. My posts may seem positive and encouraging, but behind the scenes, there is much that goes on.

Once again, am I listening to God?

When I wrote that post in 2018, I did so because God told me to. I had a different topic in mind. When I was done typing it, I cried and cried. It was a very painful experience sharing all that we had been through. But I am glad I did so because many people have been helped and encouraged by my words since then.

But that was then.

Am I listening to God now?

I would say yes. There is always that voice in the background that prompts me to do something with my son that I had not thought of before. For example, I will be washing vegetables and I suddenly decide to ask him to tell me what each one is called. I may send him to carry a pair of shoes to the bedroom. I may ask him what time of the day it is, and what we are supposed to be doing at that time. That voice keeps prompting me to do things with my son, and I am so glad I can hear it.

What about the painful moments? What does God say about those?

Being an autism parent is stressful. I have so many things to think about. Of late I have been wondering how my son will transition back to school when it opens. I wonder if he will understand what it means to wash hands and wear a mask. Let’s not even talk about social distancing. Then there is the future. My son is growing up. Will he be independent? Who will take care of him? So many questions!

Time to listen again…

Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” (NIV)

I can’t do things on my own. I need to trust Him and let Him handle everything that I am worried about. I need to ‘dump’ that load on His shoulders so I can be free to walk on the straight paths ahead of me. I need to listen carefully and obey His instructions to the letter.

Are you still listening to the Lord?

The hardest time to hear God’s voice is when you are going through trials. If you pay close attention, though, you will be amazed to hear God directing you quietly and steadily! I am grateful to the Lord for all that He has guided me to do in the past 2 years. I am also thankful for all the great ideas that are whispered in my ear by the Holy Spirit. Most of all, I am glad that He allowed me to experience His leading and direction.

Friends, I would like to encourage you today. Pain comes to the best of us. What is important, however, is how you deal with that pain. If you shut God out and refuse to listen to him, He will wait patiently until the pain is too much to bear and you finally decide to listen to what He is saying. Don’t let things get to the level of despair. Listen to God. Pay attention to what He is saying. Do what He tells you to do. Then the pain will become bearable.

 

 

Nb: Check out this article – it is my second favorite article on my blog! http://www.therelationshipmirror.com/2019/02/10/when-gods-timing-doesnt-match-yours/