Our Autism Story – An Update

Seems like ages since I last wrote about our autism journey…

It’s Autism Awareness Month! To many people that may not mean much, but to us, it’s a big deal because we focus on education and awareness creation in the communities around us. In my case, however, this month brings memories of my first Autism Awareness Month back in 2018. We got our diagnosis that same month. I had no idea what the journey ahead looked like. It was crazy for the whole family.

Here we are… 3 years later.

Did God take away the autism?

No, He didn’t. My son is still autistic.

Don’t get me wrong. I wish with all my heart that a miracle would happen and that my son would behave like other kids. I wish we could have a proper conversation. I wish I could do the things I did with my older child at this age with him, like taking long drives, going to the market, visiting malls, etc.

So where am I right now? How is autism affecting my faith?

I have learnt to be grateful and celebrate the milestones.

Milestones come from God. We have nothing to do with them. So, when my son starts saying he is scared of thunder, or he is feeling sad, I celebrate these words, even though they are a little annoying at the time. We have not done anything to get him to talk or express himself. It is all God’s doing.

Around a month ago my son figured out how to button and unbutton his shirt. I had tried to show him how to do it before, but his little fingers found it hard to grasp each button and put it in its hole. It was so frustrating at the time (around a year ago)! Recently, I tried again, and he insisted on putting each button into its hole, and later on, unbuttoning his shirt all by himself! He was quite pleased with himself!

I had nothing to do with this milestone. God had everything to do with it.

I have learnt to be grateful for all that my son can now do on his own, especially because I know God has made it possible. I am also learning to be grateful for other things in my life that I would not have been able to accomplish on my own.

I have learnt to listen and wait for God’s direction

When you have an autistic child, all you want to do is order their world so that everything works like clockwork. That works, yes, until they develop minds of their own. What do you do next? You learn to listen.

I have learnt to listen.

My son’s latest craze is animals, especially those from the Lion King. This craze has led me to bookshops and toy stores in search of books and toy animals. I guess I could have ignored this, but I didn’t. I am glad looked high and low for these things because he is now making up stories using them. Not what the characters say in the movie, but fresh dialogue that is pretty hilarious at times. This is a great milestone for an autistic child!

What if I had ignored his request? Would he have gotten this far? Maybe… but giving him what he desired accelerated the progress! Did God have a hand in this? Of course! God is teaching me to listen, through my son. Through him, I have also learnt to listen to my other child. Most importantly, I have learnt to listen to God.

My son communicates using the things that are around him. God communicates through the things that are around me. Can you see the similarity? If, therefore, I choose to ignore what God is saying through what is around me, how will I hear His voice when He ‘thunders’ from heaven? Am I listening out to hear what He is saying? Am I ready to obey His instructions? Are you?

I am learning to rest in God

Parents of autistic kids – our intentions may be the best for them, and we may do our best to give them the best interventions, but the only person who can actually make them respond to any kind of intervention is God.

Since autism landed in our home, this has been my hardest and most painful lesson to learn. It’s not easy to wait for results. It’s not easy waiting for God to work at His pace when I am in a hurry.

Why am I in a hurry, you may ask? I want my child to learn to cope with the world before he gets to his teens. I want him to be independent. I want him to learn how to communicate properly. I don’t want him to have to struggle when he gets older.

Unfortunately, these are my plans. Not God’s plans.

God works things out when He wants to because He knows what is best for us. He has not forgotten that my son is autistic. He has not forgotten about the challenges He faces. He has not stopped loving Him.

I need to remember this. I need to let God work things out at His pace, at His perfect time.

For a mom who loves to see things getting done, this is a hard lesson. But because I know that God created my son for a purpose, I will rest in Him and wait patiently to see what He will do. After all, the milestones I have seen so far are part of His perfect plan – a reminder that God has not forgotten my child.

To all the parents of autistic children out there, as well as other special needs parents – God loves our children. He knows exactly what they need, and is working in their lives to accomplish His purposes through them, all for His glory. Let us rely on God’s grace to parent our kids, as we wait patiently to see Him work in their lives.

 

Psalm 139:13-16 “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.  My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” (NIV)

 

To read more on my experiences raising an autistic child, please check out http://kenyanautismmom.com/. Thank you!